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FuckOfftober charity campaign has encouraged people to say ‘Fuck Off’ when required

Oct 31, 2025

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4 min read

FuckOfftober charity campaign has encouraged people to say ‘Fuck Off’ when required

The campaign has given more people the confidence to say ‘Fuck Off’ when someone is boring them shitless

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Wife who told husband not to buy anything for her birthday disappointed that husband didn’t buy anything for her birthday

Oct 29, 2025

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4 min read

Wife who told husband not to buy anything for her birthday disappointed that husband didn’t buy anything for her birthday

“When I told him that I didn’t want anything for my birthday, I was kind of hoping that he read between the lines and went out and bought something," she said

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Woman prepares for Christmas early by falling out with her family in October

Oct 24, 2025

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2 min read

Woman prepares for Christmas early by falling out with her family in October

Glenda Wideflaps phoned her parents and siblings last night to call then ‘selfish cockwombles’ to start her festive fisticuffs and save herself money

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Man responds to wife’s 3,000 word text with a thumbs up

Oct 23, 2025

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3 min read

Man responds to wife’s 3,000 word text with a thumbs up

Gary Wondergunt said the emoji saved him labouriously typing out a 5,000 word reply to his wife’s interrogation as to whether he had put the bins out

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Millions worldwide silently suffering from Grumpyfuckeritis

Oct 22, 2025

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3 min read

Millions worldwide silently suffering from Grumpyfuckeritis

Mornings are particular bad for sufferers of this condition, according to experts

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Nation braces for anothor shitty week ahead

Oct 20, 2025

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3 min read

Nation braces for anothor shitty week ahead

Different week. Same old shit.

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
95% early risers drink coffee to avoid jail time

Jul 8, 2025

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2 min read

95% early risers drink coffee to avoid jail time

The recent survey has shown that the majority of the world's population rely on coffee to avoid being sent to jail

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Man buys a car to go to work to pay for car

Jul 6, 2025

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2 min read

Man buys a car to go to work to pay for car

Freddy Fuckwit bought his second-hand car yesterday so that he could get to his new job so that he could pay for his second-hand car

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Cats silently tell owners to 'go fuck themselves' up to 50 times a day

Jun 12, 2025

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3 min read

Cats silently tell owners to 'go fuck themselves' up to 50 times a day

The boffins found that whereas dogs need constant attention, cats are quite happy for everyone to fuck off

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Psychic festival cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances
LockSimple

Jun 2, 2025

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3 min read

Psychic festival cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

The festival was due to be held in late May but organisers are now considering postponing it until next year

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World Happiness Day can fuck right off

Mar 17, 2025

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3 min read

World Happiness Day can fuck right off

The event, which takes place on 20th March, is designed to promote wellbeing and happiness

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Woman leaves husband after discovering he makes shit coffee

Mar 16, 2025

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3 min read

Woman leaves husband after discovering he makes shit coffee

Sally Grumble made the discovery after her husband attempted to make her breakfast in bed

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Man buys new suit to go to new job to pay for new suit

Jan 12, 2025

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3 min read

Man buys new suit to go to new job to pay for new suit

Freddy Fuckwit bought his new suit yesterday so that he could start his new job so that he could pay for his new suit

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Most common cause of stress identified as 'dealing with dickheads'

Jan 2, 2025

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2 min read

Most common cause of stress identified as 'dealing with dickheads'

Dickheads contribute to 100% of the world's stress levels, according to scientists

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Husband gives 👍 reply to wife's 3k word text message

Jan 1, 2025

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2 min read

Husband gives 👍 reply to wife's 3k word text message

Darren Undergunt's simple reply didn't go down well with wife Debbie

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Workers that are 'acting like they don't want to be here' aren't acting

Dec 30, 2024

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2 min read

Workers that are 'acting like they don't want to be here' aren't acting

Workers who act like they don't want to be at work aren't acting, say workers

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Man successfully opens bacon packet by pulling on the corner

Dec 29, 2024

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3 min read

Man successfully opens bacon packet by pulling on the corner

It's the world's first known case of anyone opening a packet without a knife

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Hippos prove it's impossible to lose weight by eating salad and walking

Dec 26, 2024

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2 min read

Hippos prove it's impossible to lose weight by eating salad and walking

The barrel-shaped bastards have disproven expert advice on how to lose weight

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Police given new powers to shoot next person to ask 'All ready for Christmas?'

Nov 29, 2024

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2 min read

Police given new powers to shoot next person to ask 'All ready for Christmas?'

Thousands of people are expected to fall foul of the new law, which takes place with immediate effect

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Local Woman Hospitalized with Severe Case of "Postelectionitis"

Nov 7, 2024

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3 min read

Local Woman Hospitalized with Severe Case of "Postelectionitis"

Ms Ballotbox suffered severe inflammation of the opinion gland

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
US Election prediction: one of them will win it

Nov 5, 2024

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2 min read

US Election prediction: one of them will win it

"We are pretty certain that one of them will win this presidential election," says Grumpy Fucker's political analyst, Danny Bigballs

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits

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